SAY: Please comment on what the question was and what the answer would be

SAY
part 1

The inevitable silence pervaded the preceding moments following the simple yet metamorphosing utterance. The room was dead; motionless, even the hands on his wrist watch seemed crippled. Seconds felt like hours, and minutes felt like lifetimes; the amount of time that past inconceivable and unmeasurable or at least in that moment. Her lips quivered as ripples on a pond being bombarded by a passing rain storm. As with any storm; this moment, this instant of wretched silence, this too would pass. The author of the thought, his body now whispered hints of wanting to re-envelope the before stated; but this was for the best, this was right. Both sets of eyes were fleeting, glossy points, darting from subject to subject, meeting occasionally as moths to a flame, seeing nothing but thought. A deep breathe was drawn and slowly sighed out, yet nothing was heard. A simple pulse had never been so evident as exactly that point. Veins and arteries were no longer conduits of life giving blood, now pulsating rhythmical drums felt deeply in every fibre of their bodies. Spoken words seemed distant, elusive, unreachable; response was inexpressibly necessary. The words just said were rehearsed, what ensued could not have that luxury. The moment and what was said next stood on a pin’s precipice, chasms of consequences waiting to engulf on all sides. A mouth opened to speek, only silence ensued, the faint motion broke the trance like state of the pair. This was it, the time had come, this was the most critical juncture either of the two had experienced. So much needed to be said, so much could be said, but only one of two words would suffice...

I'm out of control and i think i like it

Freedom from so called liberty, never before have I ever experienced such a burden fall form my own back. No worries, no anxiety, no fear.

For all of my “adult life” up to this point was just that...MY. I was in control, I was running MY life, I made things happen for MYself, “I’m kinda a big deal” to quote Anchorman: The Legend of Rob Burgundy. But no matter what I did, things never ended up the way I wanted them too. Frustration does not even begin to describe the ire welling up inside me. My life had become a shameful disgrace of what my potential was, especially held up to what I wanted to accomplish. The more I tried to be something I wasn’t the more I reeked of effort and positioning. I had no idea who I was, what my personality was like, how I should interact with certain people; A facade in the truest of senses. Confidence was something I knew I needed, but seemed just out of reach. I sought for ultimate control, a determined future, an understanding of my past, and a content presence. I was scared, tired, and for the most part alone.

The solution? A complete and utter lack of control.
The death of self-ambition followed by the beautiful genesis of selflessness. My life isn’t my own, I am not living for myself; I am God’s and He is my everything. What next? and when? only patience will tell. “Not my will but Thine” has a new and revolutionary meaning. “Letting go gives a better grip” as written by David Crowder describes this airing experience as near as I have come across. I cannot truly express the freedom I feel; my soul is light yet my heart is full. All of this has brought me to the realization that we were created in his image, gifted as intelligent and discerning creatures having the ability to make choices, but ultimately designed to come back, choosing to sacrifice that cursed gift and live under the control of the creator. No longer in need of confidence, or accomplishment, it’s a work in progress and trust. This is faith, this is truth, this is love, this is life as God intended.

If my God is with me
Than who shall I fear?


I am bigger than my body....through Christ’s control.

Jh